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:iconyaoidreamer42: More from yaoidreamer42


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June 26, 2012
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(Contains: nudity and sexual themes)


England gulped a little and nodded.
America smirked and pulled out his fingers, "ok then~" He said pulling him up quickly and entered him with one brutal thrust
England let out a loud moan. "Alfie!"
America smirked and pulled out only to thrust back in, hitting his prostate head on
England arched his back and moaned again "Faster Alfie~"
America smirked and quickened his pace hitting his prostate over and over
England moved his hips in rhythm and his nails dug into the hard wood floor. He let out cries of pleasure. He knew he was coming soon.
America smirked as he felt himself coming close as well, he leaned over near England's ear and whispered seductively "Cum, I want to hear you scream my name~"
"Nnngh! Alfred!" England moaned loudly. His muscles tensed and his toes curled. He started to cum all over.
America moaned as the muscles tensed around him causing him to cum screaming out Arthur's name.
England started panting for air. His wings laid flat against the floor and his thin tail swayed a little.
America pulled out and laid beside him smirking.
England smiled and nuzzled America's neck. "See, I'm not childish."
America rolled his eyes "Whatever" he said smiling slightly.
Last part for this Smex scene lol. More Smex scenes to come and More pairings. Please leave a comment cause i love to hear what you guys think about it~ Put 'Smexy Demons' If you read this~

Drawing isn't mine all rights goes to rightful owner
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:iconxxlenkakagaminexx:
xXLenkaKagamineXx Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
1. Your picture is the same as my friend so I'm a bit creeped out ...
2. That was a role play you had with your ' friend '? O-o I would of expected at least a couple after that XD
3. Nice story :Ph
Reply
:iconzowiibitess:
ZowiiBitess Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hehe, cute. >u<
I need to upload a roleplay a friend of mine and I had, it was really fluffy and adorable. xD I'll do it someday, but it'll be difficult, since I lost the beginning of it. o.o
*Ramble ramble*
This is really cute, you should upload more. ^u^
Reply
:iconyaoidreamer42:
yaoidreamer42 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
lol maybe
Reply
:iconzowiibitess:
ZowiiBitess Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
No, no maybe's allowed. v-v
Reply
:iconyaoidreamer42:
yaoidreamer42 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
xD
Reply
:iconzowiibitess:
ZowiiBitess Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:3
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:iconyaoidreamer42:
yaoidreamer42 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
lol
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:iconstarcrossedwolf:
StarCrossedWolf Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
If i may give a bit of writers tip. in some ways less description and some ways more. right off at the start you kept calling his prostate well...his prostate, some things you could have done are things such as

"America smirked and quickened his pace, each thrust more intense than the last"

and where it says...

"He knew he was coming soon.
America smirked as he felt himself coming close as well..."

it could be more like...

"He knew he was nearing his climax.
America smirked as he felt himself reaching the point of ecstasy as well... "

and here...

"Nnngh! Alfred!" England moaned loudly. His muscles tensed and his toes curled. He started to cum all over."

almost all of that sounds really good except the last sentence...I would make it...

"Nnngh! Alfred!" England moaned loudly. His muscles tensed and his toes curled. This was it, screaming in pleasure he released his seed."

now here is also good, it just feels like only a few words are missing.

"America moaned as the muscles tensed around him causing him to cum screaming out Arthur's name."

what i would change is...

"America moaned as Englands muscles tensed around him causing him to cum, screaming out Arthur's name."

-----

All in all i think its good, i've just written a bit (3 and a half books...unpublished of course) myself over the past few years, so i wanted to give some wording suggesting :) like i said not bad at all it was a hot read ;P
Reply
:iconyaoidreamer42:
yaoidreamer42 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
thx it was just a random rp me and my friend were doing and my other friends wanted to see it lol xD i'll try and remember your suggestions for the next ones and thanks for being so nice about it~
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:iconstarcrossedwolf:
StarCrossedWolf Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
no problem, I was your classmate you know :)
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